I’ve done it again. I have neglected my blog for weeks. And now I’m back, out of nowhere, without even having the decency to lie and make up a good excuse for my behaviour. Because in all honesty, I have no excuse.
I have been trying to write a blog post for almost two weeks now. But I think that I have been trying too hard. I had an idea and decided to run with it, ignoring my lack of inspiration. The end result? Days of staring at the three lines I had actually written, knowing that I needed to write something, but no idea of what that something would be.
So I decided to give my poor overworked brain a rest. To stop trying to force something that just isn’t happening for me right now. And just, write. Even if that means I am writing a completely incoherent post, with no real point, just to tell anyone who may read this how things are going.
In particular, I wanted to explain why I have been absent for so long. Though, as I mentioned, I have no good excuses. All I can say is, I have been busy. With work, writing, reading, social engagements (of which I have had more than usual lately, due to the anniversary of my birth), as well as all the other less enjoyable things are a part of every day life. I’m talking cleaning, clothes washing, grocery shopping, completely destroying the side mirror on your car and having no time or money to fix it. Oh, that last part was just me? Sorry.
And because of all of that, I’ve been tired. More inclined to drink wine and watch My Kitchen Rules at night than sit down, engage my brain, and write a post. And I have been using what little brain power I have at the end of the day to write my novel. Or, at least pretend to write my novel, while actually watching ASMR videos on YouTube until I fall asleep.
But, despite the mental lethargy and procrastination, I have managed to get a bit of work done. I have finally finished my re-writes (including going back and deleting at least half of the 20 odd finally‘s that all made their way into my first four chapters). I have written new content. And I have even re-written many of my re-writes. Because every time I think I finally have the first draft of those chapters finished, my mind realises just how wrong I was. And suddenly, drastic changes must be made.
One particular change came after re-reading an old favourite series, The Chronicles of Ixia by Maria Snyder. More recognisable to most, I believe, as the Poison Study series. I am very excited, because the sixth (or ninth, depending on how you look at the series), and final, book of the series has recently been released. I bought it a while ago, and have been putting off re-reading the rest of the books, because I knew that once I did I would get very little done in any other part of my life. Which, was a correct assumption. So far I have read the first three books in as many days. And am now on to the fourth book (though again, that depends on your view of the series. As the middle three books are actually a series on their own, related to and set in the same world as the overarching series. Confused? Read them yourself and find out), and will probably spend the entirety of the long weekend reading.
But, I digress. Find the point Sylvia, and stick to it!
In the second book, Magic Study, Yelena has a very difficult relationship with one of the characters. Well, she has a difficult relationship with most of the characters. But, I realised that one relationship in particular was almost identical to one in my own book. So much so, that I felt like I was bordering on plagiarism. I know I wasn’t. But the similarities were too great for my own comfort.
So changes were made. And I now feel better about that particular relationship. It fits more with the characters, and with their history with each other. Once I fixed those issues, and re-wrote it, I wondered how I could possibly think that the other way worked. Really, it was as though I wasn’t listening to them at all.
Truly, the best thing about the never ending cycle of editing is that the story gets better with every change. The plot improves with every sentence that is re-written, with every character or relationship re-designed, and with every bit of content added to past, present, or future chapters. That thought makes it easier, when you’re getting down on yourself for not progressing as far as you wish you had.
Because you can’t carry on the journey, without knowing where you’ve been.
Well, I supposed you could. But you would get very confused. And further down the line, many more edits would need to occur. Which, while not necessarily a bad thing, could become quite frustrating if you’re three quarters of the way in to the story.
And, if we are talking literally, rather than in metaphors, if you can’t remember where you’ve been, I believe that would signify a deeper neurological issue. If that is the case, you really should consult a medical professional.
With the last few sentences, this post has taken a strange turn. But I did promise you a ramble in the title. And a ramble is what you have. Though, it has been far more coherent than any of my real life rambles.
I hope anyway. Please correct me if I am wrong.
Now, if I ever manage to make my brain work, and find my inspiration, I will be writing a post on the great debate between first and third person narrative. Not very original, I know. But I am writing from my own experiences, which is the entire point of this blog.
So my friends, stay tuned.
And maybe, just maybe, I will finally manage to produce some new content for you all. Content with structure, and purpose. Rather than the random, wine induced drivel of an inattentive blogger.